SOMETHING  TO OFFEND DAMN-NEAR EVERYBODY
   
What's the Cuban national anthem?
Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
   
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
   
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded  baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong."
    
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
   
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at  half mast?
They're hiring.
    
Why aren't there any  Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not  going to work in the future, either.
   
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
    
Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only
on  Mondays, Wednesdays  and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the  Sex Ed class uses it.
   
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the  front of  the cage, along with a recipe.
    
How do you get a sweet  little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get  another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
    
What's the difference between a  northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins," 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
   
Times  have changed. Years ago.....When 100 white men chased 1 black man, we called it the Ku Klux  Klan; Today they call it the PGA TOUR.