The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why
Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is Not Now.
 
There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
 
Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
 
There's a new Jewish-American Princess
horror movie. It's called "Debbie Does Dishes"
.
Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
They never let anyone finish a sentence.
 
What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?
Facing Bloomingdale's!

A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very
weak." The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 28 days."
The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten
in 28 days?"
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to
be filled with food if you should call."
 
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play.
"Wonderful. What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part!"

Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
Under the vacuum cleaner.
 
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?  (Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody.
 
Blessing at  every Jewish Holiday:
"They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat."

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied.
 
What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? Eventually, the Rottweiler will let go.